Feel like the character of your voice needs a bit more work. Like, its good what your going for, but just doesn't quite come off strong enough. On top of that the lyrics don't do you to many favours. Allthough they are ballsy in how personal the are, its how they are personal that doesn't quite do it. They sound like depressive ramblings, if you can think more concisely of a topic to centre such ramblings around, something to give it more purpose that would make the song a lot more strong. Also, the beat sounds rather plain. Not in a melodic sense, but in the production/ mixing. The bass and drums don't smack, due to their sound. The piano loops is a bit boring. Sooo yeah. I'd suggest work on it alot more. Try and stay focused. Perhaps find a reference track, an artist you like the sound of. And then once you've recorded try listening to your track, and theirs, and see how t compares in quality. and if it doesn't, then put more work in.
The thing is that this track is SUPPOSED to sound like depressive ramblings, and if you've ever sat down with or spoken with a depressed person about their problems, they go from point A to point Q to point J to point R and back to point A. It's all over the place because they're trying to put their thoughts together just as much as the listener is.
I know what I'm doing with lyricism, I didn't want my vocals to have a big "in your face" kind of impact on this song, for reasons that should be obvious. It's sad. I'm supposed to sound sad, and weak.
I can write a track, listen to my other ones if you think I'm no good with lyrics. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but this isn't a perfect example of my lyricism or rapping in general.
Aside from that, thank you for the review and the criticism. It's just one of those tracks where I had a sound in mind, lyrics in mind, and it ended up sounding and being written the way I'd pictured it.
I quite like the melody and 8 bit styles. But the drum sounds are really lacking. Kinda made me feel a touch more deflated about it then I should. Bass is nice though.
Thanks for your review! Even though I like the drums on this song, I know what you are talking about. I recently got some new drum packs, so my drums will have a better sound in future songs :)
This is why love should be illegal. Makes us lonely people feel so crippled inside. When we want some, and see the signifiers, but can't have none. Dope piano piece though. Sorry, I got self indulgent for a moment there... Its very very pretty.
Man, I feel your pain, guess we all go through those moments, where it hurts so bad to feel lonely. Thanks for checking my piece! It means a lot, I'm happy you liked it
I like this, despite my ideas upon jesus. Find it rather soothing. Have no issue witht he piano sound unlike the poster below. Felt it sounded fine. The more epheral, ambienty tones work really well to give this texture too.
Thank you for your review!
The bass underneath rumbles nicely. But I feel the guitar sound is way off. It sounds like a MIDI vst type of thing, that just can't get close to the real sound its trying to imitate. That said I think the synth works really well. Drums are a bit quiet in the mix. I know rock music sometimes has a tendency too do that, but I think it would give this song a lot more punch if they were up higher. I can't hear kicks that should be there to give it umph.
The file really is a .MIDI, but converted. I created the song using Finale Notepad 2012, converted it to a .MIDI file and then converted to .mp3. I prefer how this sounded like. Thanks for enjoying the synths, I think they fit the song well too.
I see what you mean about the drums, although I prefered to maintain the drums at the same volume as the overdrive guitar because I wanted to detach the bass sound which gives the main harmony of the song.
Thanks for reviewing,
Really enjoy this. Really cool production and mixing. The riffs are really powerful, and your voice cruises along nicely, but maybe doesn't quite have the power to match the music? I think too, the way it sits within the mix, and the tone in which its set, just sounds a touch mumbly, making harder to understand your lyrics. Perhaps that's because of how the vocals have been double tracked. I'm being over critical though. It's still really strong music, that stuff on the vocals is a minor complaint...
Thanks for the review, not overly critical in the slightest. I don't consider myself a singer at all, so anything that isn't blasting it as the most awful thing ever is a bonus :)
LOVE NUJABES! The reverbed drums work real nice on this. Great sample.
Lacks power. I don't know why. Feel like this tune has plenty of potential, but that the rhythm of the drums doesn't do anything to give it any umph.
Sick. Not a huge fail. Somehow your song made my flash crash. Was having fun before hand though.
Haha, thanks, man. Sorry if this song is a little distorted, the levels seemed to rise after I rendered it :(
YEAHHHHHHH! I like to break windows to this shit. Great sound.
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